Archive for the ‘Movie Reviews’ Category

Beer Wars (2009)

Rating: ★★★☆☆

This will be a quick one as it is my second post of the day. I might actually break a sweat. In the immortal words of Psychostick “I like beer because it’s good/I drink beer because I should/If there was a song to sing/I’d sing it and beer you bring”

Informative but boring in spots. I almost shut it off a few times. The last segment about the three tier system is good. Basic summary… independent craft beer = good. large corporate beer = bad.

It really was eye opening how (allegedly) evil Anheuser-Busch is (please don’t sue. I know how much you like to.) (Hey, I’m a poet)…

Bottom line: I will try to not buy anymore Anheuser-Busch products, though considering they have over dozens of brands and brewery names (made to sound small) I don’t know how successful I will be.

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Waiting for Armageddon (2009)

Rating: ★★★★☆

I just saw the scariest movie I have ever seen. No, it was not some Japanese revenge/thriller. No, it was not some new indie film. It definitely wasn’t an original Hollywood film (wouldn’t that be something). No, it was a documentary on Evangelical Christians.

Holy Crap! Some of these people are just plain nuts. I don’t know what is scarier, their beliefs or how many of these people are out there.

Basically, this movie tries to explain how Evangelical Christians perceive the End of Days. You know, the Rapture and Tribulation and Armageddon and so on… I won’t explain it all here, partly because I’m not sure I understand it all, but suffice to say, this stuff is scary! I mean these people have plans in place to ‘jumpstart’ Armageddon should they ever get there hands on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem.

I should clarify… When I say Evangelical Christians I clearly don’t mean all of them, only the really hardcore ones… You know who you are.

Oh, and this isn’t to be confused with Waiting for Ahmergeddon. That will be much scarrier (and have lots of boobs).

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Hatchet (2006)

Rating: ★★★★★

Wow! Two 5 star reviews in a row… That’s a first.

I have to start with the tagline… “It’s not a remake, It’s not a sequel and it’s not based on a Japanese one.” Brilliant…

All you need to know is on the movie poster, including the part about “old school American horror” and “stay out of the swamp”. There is nothing overly special about this movie. There are no great ‘twists’ or ‘creative’ kills. Hell, there’s not even any new and improved uses for the hatchet. You would at least think they would sneak that in there. After all, they named the movie Hatchet. What the movie does have is pretty darn good writing and pretty darn believable acting. It also has Robert Englund; you can’t go wrong with that.

The plot? A group of tourists take a nightime tour of the Louisiana Bayou. The boat skinks and hilarity ensues (or something like that…). The point? Go see this movie.

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Severance (2006)

Rating: ★★★★★

Employees of a large weapons manufacturer go on a team building retreat in Eastern Europe but things go horribly wrong.

This is a brilliant British comedy/horror, or is it horror/comedy, in the vein of Shaun of the Dead. Witty humor, horror, slapstick, and false suspense keep this movie going with nary a dull spot to be found.

One of my favorite lines from the film: ‘…our CRM-114 landmine, the Platoon Buster. “What Ordinance?” magazine calls it “The most exciting development in concealed termination in years.”‘

Another thing I like about this film, which I had to verify by reading some of the interviews with the director, is all the nods to classic films. Some scenes are near shot for shot remakes from movies like Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! and Dr. Strangelove. There are also quite a few nods to Kubrick, but I’ll let you figure them out on your own.

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Ever Since the World Ended (2001)

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

This movie could have been so good. I absolutely hate it when someone takes a brilliant idea for a film and turns it into trash [i.e. Pathology (2008)].

The movie is a faux documentary about life in San Francisco 10 years (or so) after a plague killed most people on earth. In post-plague San Fran only 186 people remain. How do we know 186? Because they tell us over and over and over.

The acting was, for the most part, terrible. Also, if this is a documentary how can the movie premier of the documentary be in said documentary as occurs at the end of this film? Other issues: How is everyone so clean and well groomed? Why are the streets still in perfect condition and devoid of any trash? If the roads are so great then why isn’t anyone driving? You mean to tell me no one has figured out how to siphon gas out of a tanker truck or gas station holding tank?

There were a few positive thought provoking moments. For example, what do you do if one of the 186 residents becomes ‘unstable’? Is it okay to kill him so you can feel safe again? How long would it take for society to revert back to the basics such as farming, hunting, and gathering? In the movie there is still a large city’s worth of modern conveniences left to sustain the survivors.

The only believable part of the film was the appearance of Adam Savage of Mythbusters fame playing pretty much a carbon copy of his techie self. If anyone in San Fran were to survive the ‘end of the world’ it would be one of the Mythbusters.

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